It's Not All About Me Y'know.

When I was pregnant with 1.2.1, there was a lot of research to be done in order to get all the paraphernalia that goes along with having a baby. One of the longest and hardest searches was for a car seat. Initially it wasn't really hard at all, since my husband (who is into race cars in one form or another - except Nascar of course) wanted a Recaro, since it was the safest, and best. The only problem we found, when it was received as a gift, was that it was the size of a baby elephant. Even though I had only just traded my lovely Mini Cooper S for a much more responsible and family friendly VW Passat wagon, it would fit, but it still couldn't have been described as "portable".  So that was going to be kept aside and used after 1.2.1 gained a few pounds, and in the meantime I got my hands on something much more reasonable, that also fitted into a stroller.


So yesterday, the chance came to try the awesome, beastly Recaro out. My husband had a rare day off and we had plans to meet some friends for lunch and then go and find ourselves our first real Christmas tree.  All very exciting. So since we were taking a big work truck, we figured we'd try the car seat out. 1.2.1 is notorious for disliking her regular car seat, so I was very keen to see if this one fared any better. My husband popped (ha), it in the back of the truck and I came over to strap her in... six feet off the ground. The cab to the truck was so high, and the car seat so huge, that I couldn't possibly get her in from the outside, so I climbed in with her, and did it from inside. What a palaver. It was oh so worth it though, cause she looooooved it. This is not only fantastic news because it was a very generous gift from the great grandparents, but because it grows with her and will last her into her 20's. Yippee.


We had a lovely leisurely lunch with our friends, then late into the afternoon we picked up the perfect tree and all the decorations. Before I started decorating I wanted to put 1.2.1 to bed. Normally this isn't too big of a deal, but, since the weather has been cooler in the evenings, our nice soundproof(ish) windows, aren't so effective (some kind of science that's beyond me). Our bloodhound was barking up a storm, so putting her in the bassinett in our room as normal (which is at the back of the house), wasn't looking like an option. It was time to give her Crib in her bedroom a shot. She is in this crib several times a day, but for a kick around and play time, not for sleeping... yet. I was building up the courage. I plop her down and she seems comfy enough, and was still asleep when I walked away, so thought that maybe this would actually work. I left her in the capable ears of my husband while I went out for an hour and a half. I was pretty nervous that entire time, worried she wouldn't sleep and would cry up a storm and stress my husband out. But, when I return, she's still fast asleep not making a peep. Another hour and a half later, we still hadn't heard a peep. Usually we at least hear a few sleepy squawks, but nothing. I start getting anxious. Checking on a sleeping baby a hundred times a night isn't clever, but it's a passing thought every other second. I mention my fears once, twice, maybe even three times. I don't want to go in there and wake her, but I really want to know that she's still breathing. My husband finally just goes in and does it, and of course, she's just - sleeping like a baby... at least for another 30 seconds. My husband apologizes, but for once I'm not mad that she's been woken, cause at least I know she's alive. It could be that I'm secretly not wanting her to sleep so well in there, cause I love knowing she's dreaming next to me at night, or it could just be that because the cribs much bigger, I'm more worried for her safety. Either way. She did great for 3 hours, and that was enough for me to know that she can sleep in there and it hopefully won't be hard to transition her from our room to her own.


We're actually trying it out again tonight. I mentioned to my husband how much more comfy the mattress seems in the crib compared to the bassinet, and he says am I just going to let her sleep in there all night? That was a hard question to answer. He points out that if it's more comfortable, wouldn't she prefer it? I try and make out that it wouldn't be fare, that maybe she'll be lonely. But the truth is, she doesn't care, it's all about me and my feelings. I want her next to me, but that's not necessarily what's best for her. So I'm going to give it a shot. I can always bring her through to our room after 6am if she wakes, and that way, when it gets light she knows where we are. Having a baby is life changing, but I'm also discovering it's really, really hard to deal with all the little milestones that prove her tiny little moves towards independence. I'll get there though, in baby steps.


My Google search of the day - "How old are babies when they start rolling back to front?" - This will be the subject of tomorrows ramblings.